reading the newspaper
starting an etsy shop
having a website
being on pinterest
writing a poem a week
writing a poem each day for a month
starting a literary magazine
starting a chapbook press
the atkins diet
the paleo diet
and getting into skinny jeans
she has a point–not that i can’t do these things but that i might not be able to do them right now. i have a husband and a baby (babies soon!), work full-time, and there just isn’t much time for things beyond that. i have had trouble envying my idealized self and sometimes my past self. i can’t write a poem a week or even every other week like i did before i had zu, yet i have not really adjusted my expectations. so i failed at them which led to me feeling discouraged. in so many areas of life, i did a lot but not what i expected myself to do.
i’m starting to assess what is necessary and what i am merely requiring of myself. what matters most is that i care for my family–keep a comfortable home, food on the table, pour into my relationship with my husband and daughter, and with the Lord.
reading & writing is important, necessary, but i haven’t figured out yet how much time i can devote to it and how much i should. i am putting on pause pursuing some of these wild ideas, exciting new things. there is so much that i want to do but in this “season” of life we’re having babies like crazy, and my family takes All of me. and they deserve all of me.
|flowers from our garden, blooming in january. sometimes its better to wait for the right season.|