diffused beams

“For as God is infinitely the greatest Being, so he is allowed to be infinitely the most beautiful and excellent: and all the beauty to be found throughout the whole creation, is but the reflection of the diffused beams of that Being who hath an infinite fulness of brightness and glory; God . . . is the foundation and fountain of all being and all beauty.”
– Jonathan Edwards, The Nature of True Virtue

i woke up feeling off today. maybe a little bit lack of restful sleep, abundance of pregnancy hormones, long list of things undone, but mostly i think it was because i hadn’t written in a week or two and i felt heavy, heavy with what i needed to write.

we’ve had a week of rain and its left our front porch–newly adorned with two matching thriftstore bought-on-the-cheap gray wicker chairs–sopping wet, so i found a corner of our sunroom to curl up, as much as i can curl, to look at the new-growth buds on our hemlock, the magnolia leaves shining in the sunlight, the creek muddy and swollen from the torrent of rain.

i wrote a poem, and already my heart feels lighter. poetry writing has a way of doing that, if you’ve never tried it. i’ve been reading through the liberated imagination by leland ryken, a book on the importance of the arts in a christian’s life. i love the edwards quote that ryken included in his book; our creativity i think is also the reflection of the diffused beams of God’s perfect beauty.

moreso than needing to write to meet a yearly goal or fulfill an artistic regiment, i need to write as worship, to write to commune with God in a unique way. i think of the verse on groanings that cannot be uttered (romans 8:26)–and writing it in poetry is not exactly like uttering it. it seems more roundabout and feels more direct.

maybe that is confusing; i’m not sure if i explain it well. if you haven’t written a poem in a while, i hope you will go outside and sit and watch and write today, and maybe you will feel this too.

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